The New Years' Resolution is a culture thing, I'm sure.  I haven't heard of any Chinese vowing mid-January what they're gonna do in the upcoming year.

Some easy-to-follow resolutions.  These are also great things to put on your goals for your job to make sure you get that end-of-quarter bonus for meeting all of your objectives.

• Do not knowingly eat plutonium.
• Do not spontaneously combust.
• Do not engage in non-standard accounting practices.
• Do not overthrow any sovereign nation.
• Avoid being mobbed by supermodels.
• Do not eat anything larger than my head by myself and/or in one sitting.
• Do not develop weapons of mass destruction.
• Do not find it necessary to restate my earnings.
• Do not arouse the suspicions of Tom Ridge.
• Be polite to people carrying guns.
  • Corollary 1: Be extra polite if you're sure the gun is loaded.
  • Corollary 2: Do not make sudden moves that may alarm them.
• Do not invade sovereign nations on the suspicion that they might have weapons of mass destruction.  Or weapons of mass destruction program related material.
• If I ever hire a nanny, make sure she's legally in the country and that I pay her properly so as to avoid scandals when being appointed to a high public office.
• Shun any super powers.

More as I think of 'em.